Love People, Use Things

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Dear Dhaani,

Its been almost two months since I wrote you a note. The last few months have kept us all busy with our travels.  One of the trips was your first international trip ( to Bali and Kualalumpur) .  I Will write about that trip in some other post of mine. In this post, I want to talk to you about a mantra which I have learnt from my parents, but keep forgetting every now and then. I want you to make it one of the basic mantras of your life.

The mantra is - Love People, Use things.

There, it is so simple. I tell you what beta, the most simple things in life are the most difficult to follow. Look at us adults, almost all of us learnt this same mantra in our childhood from our adults ( parents, teachers and elder siblings). We followed this till the time the adulthood and worldliness overtook our inherent geniuses. We were subjected to some newer concepts  such as :

1    1.      A bigger car and a bigger house means that we have arrived in life
2.       We should not trust anyone, as everyone is out there to cheat us
3.       Its okay to use any means/ anyone  to achieve our material goal
4.       It’s a bad bad world out there, and only the fittest will survive

You see, all the above concepts are okay, but in a very limited context. For example, take the second example. We should not trust anyone blindly, as we can be cheated. This is good advice. However, to generalise this and use doubt/mistrust as your default setting is not a good thing. I have always kept my default setting as trust. I do not meet a stranger with a hidden fear that he/she will cheat me or use me. This has served me well , and I advise you follow the same principle.

Coming back to the new concepts we learn in adulthood; with these examples of mistrust and over competition given to us while we were growing up,  we got confused about our childhood learning of loving people and using things. So much so that at times we started doing the exact opposite – Love things and use people. We would spend more time building wealth and possessions than we would in building relationships. We would spend hours on something artificial and virtual, rather than talking to people at our home. We would attach our happiness with a certain sum of money rather than in bringing joys to our loved ones. We would hurt people left right and center as long as it helped us achieve our material goal. Please don’t mistake, your father has also been guilty of this many times. But most of the times, he has stuck to his core of loving people and using things.

The world today is driven by the consumerism. There is so much information which is available at your fingertips. At times, this much of information becomes more of a vice than a virtue. It looks like the world has become a big marketplace where everyone is out there to sell you something. And to move ahead, you have to become a consumer. The pressure is momentous, but always remember, things are things, and they will give you temporary pleasure, they will not satiate your soul.

Buy things, by all means, use them. They make life easier. Take for example the computer on which I am typing this letter. This computer has made my life so much easier. But if I would attach my happiness to owning a computer, then the whole utility it has will go for a toss. 

Invest your time and energy  in building relationships with people.   With your own family off course. But also your extended family, this world as a whole.  This is a beautiful place beta with so many beautiful people. In my travels , wherever I have gone, I have only received love and help from people. People; strangers and known. People; Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Sikhs, Buddhists and atheists. People; White, black and brown. People; poor and rich. People, who do not understand my language . Don’t believe anyone who says that it’s a bad bad world out there.  Don’t believe anyone who says that it’s in owning things that true happiness is. Don’t believe anyone who says that it’s okay to hurt and cheat people to achieve your end goal.

Believe. In Belief. In Love. In People.






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