To my first two teachers - my Parents

My mother and father were my first teachers. I am grateful to be born to such kind, simple and empowering souls. They brought us 5 kids with aplomb in the limited resources we had. They taught us simple but powerful lessons in life through their actions. Today on teachers day, I am reminded of their main mantras which I will try to pass on to Dhaani.

1. Never Cheat or use unfair means -  It sounds so obvious thing to do. Everyone would teach their children not to cheat and use unfair means. But what is important is to practice and not to preach. During my childhood, I saw my parents practicing it. It only helped that we saw some others practicing the opposite. My father was a simpleton who never used unfair means in life. That other people and his close relatives used unfair means to take benefit out of him, is another story. He never reciprocated. We as children at times questions this one-sided goodness. But today I know that whatever you do in life, good or bad, always comes back to you.

2. Self-respect is most important - We were almost a nuclear family even in my childhood. My father, mother, we five children and my grandmother were to play as a team, in times of excess as well as a shortage. My fathers business failed quite a few times, but my mother stood like a rock behind him. We children were taught to stand upright, and never to lose self-respect in life. The times of shortages prepared us, children, to adapt to the situations and value the resources. And when one rises from the times of shortages, the feeling is unparalleled. Today, I want to pass on the same learnings to Dhaani. Whatever happens, always keep your self-respect high. Because that is one treasure which none can take away. And that treasure is the real wealth anyone can ever have.

3. Family is the most important - This is a lesson we children tend to forget as we grow up. In this super-connected world, we consider ourselves as a part of a larger family of the world. This is a great thing to consider the whole world as our own family. However, in the process, we forget the importance of our own family. We value friends and virtual acquaintances more than people back home. What a pity? My mom always told me the importance of family, of taking everyone together, of making adjustments to make others happy. I did not heed to it so much when I was younger. Today, When I am a parent, I get what she means. It's all for a reason. Your family, however close or far they may be, always has your back. Your siblings, you might have your differences with them,  but they are the ones who know you. They have been a part of your story, and it's rare in the world to find someone who has been a part of your story or understands your story.

4. Save first, spend later - The favorite proverb of my mother was " उतने पैर पसारिये , जितनी लम्बी चादर "
    ( in simple terms one should spend less than what one earns). And this is my biggest learning in personal finance to date, even bigger than all the lessons I have learned in my MBA. We were taught to earn everything in life and not feel entitled to it. I remember waiting for one complete year to get new clothes on Diwali. We used to get new clothes every year on Diwali and the joy of getting those was unmatched. We would wait for months and look forward to the whole thing of going to the market, buying that garment and then wearing it on Diwali. Once Diwali was gone, we would neatly pack it for use on the next big festivity. I remember saving money from my pocket money for a month to buy a pencil box which I had set my eyes on.There was a top-up on the pocket money from my parents to cover any shortfall, off course. But it felt like i have bought that pencil box from my hard-earned money.Some of this was also a function of us not being super-rich, but more than that, it was a function of how my parents taught us to live.  


5. Minimalism, recycle and reuse - I find myself lucky to be born in the 80s. Kids back then were not so entitled. Parents back then were not eager to provide that they provided for everything before their children demanded. I might be generalizing here a bit. But I fail to understand the consumerism that parents get into after becoming parents. They stuff their home with things, clothes, and toys which will not be used to their full utility. I am all for loving your kids, but to turn them into hoarders of stuff is what I am fail to understand  I Grew up wearing clothes which my elder brother outgrew. My mother took these clothes to the neighborhood tailor and he would shorten them to my size in 20 rupees. I silently cursed the tailor , if I have to be completely honest. But I never resented the idea of wearing a second-hand shirt/trousers. I am so thankful that my parents taught me to recycle and reuse. I don't feel any shame in buying second-hand books for dhaani. Or in taking pre-used prams, strollers etc from my friends and using it for dhaani.  If ever we needed to recycle and reuse the most on this planet, it is today.