The cycle of love

-

In the last 6 months through this blog, I have written about many physical and behavioral changes which i have seen happening within us as parents. In addition to these physical changes, however, there have been many phycological and spiritual changes which have happened to us.

There are some prime questions which every individual has and needs answers to. The all-important questions of self-identity, the reason of being etc. Parenthood has answered some of our long unsatiated questions in life. I wanted to do a series of blogs on how becoming a parent has changed us at a spiritual level. This post is first in the series. You will find more posts on this theme in the coming days.
POST 1 - THE CYCLE OF LOVE

I would like to think of myself as a good son to my parents. I was not the rebellious one. I followed a middle path in life, did okay academically, did not sign report cards on my parent's behalf,  wore my elders brothers clothes till I was 15 , did not steal money from my parents ( okay that's a lie) ,  did not see A rated stuff before i was18 ( again a lie) . So in a nutshell, i was an almost Adarsh balak. At least i ensured that all my non Adarsh adventures are hidden from the eyes and ears of my parents.  And my parents did not complain.  I assume them to be reasonably proud of me as a son.


I had always thought that we children are burdened by a debt which we will never be able to pay off.
The debt of sacrifices that our parents have made for us. The debt of one way giving that we have been at the receiving end of. At times, it puzzled me as to why do parents do so much and so long for their kids.

I  stuck to the expectations of my parents most of the times because i was cognizant of those sacrifices.  I did not want to let them down, bring them worries or troubles. I tried to take some special efforts at times ( eg taking my mom around the holy places in my summer breaks). Off course,  these small steps would not relieve me much of the debt, and i always felt the need to do something more for my parents.

And the burden continued to weigh on me. Until I became a parent. In a split second, the whole stuff became so clear. One can not pay it back, one has to pay it forward. You have to make similar sacrifices for your kid. Now, this is not to mean that once you become a parent,  you forget your parents and focus only on your kids. What i mean to say is at a more evolved level. Parents reading this would understand this.  In fact, if at all, you become a better son and daughter after becoming a parent.

Because then you accept this one-way traffic of giving from your parents, you don't question it, you don't want to pay it back. You just want to play your small role in the cycle of love.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Divine Intervention

-
They say that you don't have any control over your life, destiny has its own way of planning things for you. We were to see the example of this saying for ourselves very soon. It was January of 2016. We had started to think about extending our family. Around the end of the month, we got to know of tragic news. Himani s nanaji was diagnosed with cancer.  Nanaji was a self-made man who brought up his 5 children as a single parent ( naniji had demised when children were very young). And he doted on his grandchildren, especially girls. He was a living example of how daughters are to be celebrated and encouraged and not considered a liability. He ensured that all his children and grandchildren get educated and brought up well. He always stood like a rock behind his children in the ups and downs of life. His daughters also reciprocated the love equally and I have always admired the father-daughter relationship he had with his daughters. Nanaji s initial diagnosis was done in Bena...
Read more

To my first two teachers - my Parents

-
My mother and father were my first teachers. I am grateful to be born to such kind, simple and empowering souls. They brought us 5 kids with aplomb in the limited resources we had. They taught us simple but powerful lessons in life through their actions. Today on teachers day, I am reminded of their main mantras which I will try to pass on to Dhaani. 1. Never Cheat or use unfair means -  It sounds so obvious thing to do. Everyone would teach their children not to cheat and use unfair means. But what is important is to practice and not to preach. During my childhood, I saw my parents practicing it. It only helped that we saw some others practicing the opposite. My father was a simpleton who never used unfair means in life. That other people and his close relatives used unfair means to take benefit out of him, is another story. He never reciprocated. We as children at times questions this one-sided goodness. But today I know that whatever you do in life, good or bad, always co...
Read more

The two worlds

-
Dear Dhaani, You are 2 years and 7 months today. Come next year, and you will start attending school. And thus will begin a new chapter in your life. The thing that i am going to write to you today about will not make much sense to you  in your initial years at the school, but i think it is important for you to understand this as you grow up. You my dear, like every other child on this planet are blessed to be born with an inherent connection with your inner self. This connection is what makes a child so special and innocent. This is what we adults miss in ourselves and other adults when we see you children being so pious and pristine. I believe there is one prime reason for this. As we grow up, we start focussing only on our outer world and forget the world inside of us, our inner world. Today i want to talk to you about these two worlds.  The outer world as you have already started noticing is the world which the god has created, and we humankind, have modifie...
Read more