Hate is a baggage

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Dear Dhaani

#Hate is a Baggage#

I first heard of this phrase when i was in 2nd year college. Now one does not need to hear this phrase to practice it. But when i actually heard of it, it echoed so much with me. I had actually started to hate someone very much at that time and all my energies were being used in expressing that hate. This mantra helped me overcome that . And since then, it has become one of the mantras of life. At times, i deviate from this mantra; but it brings me back . To sanity, to forgiveness, to acceptance.

Since childhood, we are  taught to choose one thing out of many. This also comes naturally to us when we tend to like something more than others. This helps us in creating our identity and is also helpful in making decisions as times. Because of these preferences, we create a trend of decisions which we follow in future. Its great till then.

But then, we tend to take it a few notches ahead. Since we like something, we think we need to hate/dislike something else. Its still okay if this is limited to things. The real problem is when we start to hate/dislike some"ONE". Generally, it starts with "Not Liking" and then slowly it turns into "Hating". What i want to drive home in this note is there is a huge huge difference between the two.

Not Liking - Its more like you don't like something relative to something else. As in when you have a choice between 2-3 things; you like one and don't like the others. Its just one more shade darker of being indifferent. It does not consume you and bothers you much.

Hating - This is an absolute thing. Even if you have only that option, you won't take it. More so, all your actions and plans are driven by your hate for that one thing or person. You are obliged to stick to your hate and announce it as and when you get the opportunity.

Hate is such a baggage. You have to carry it all the time. I give you 11 reasons not to hate:

Everytime you choose to hate, you choose a negative emotion in your life. 
Everytime you hate someone, you force yourself to be part of the problem.
Everytime you hate someone because of something in the past, you allow that thing to hurt you again. Everytime you hate to see someone s face, you have to force yourself to do myriad things just so that avoid seeing him/her..
Everytime you avoid a discussion with someone you hate, you loose an opportunity.
Everytime you are biased because of someone else's hate for someone, you loose a potential lifelong friend.
Everytime you hate, you loose a chance to love.
Everytime you say something out of hate, you miss a chance to brighten your day.
Everytime you hurt someone because of your hate, you hurt yourself much more.
Everytime you hate someone, you allow him/her to rule your life and your actions.
Everytime you hate someone,  You give others chance to misuse your hate.

And the strange thing is , most of the times this hate is not personal. We start to hate something which most of our circle hates. And then it becomes a status quo. Then, we must not disturb that status quo and we begin to live that hate.

Dhaani Beta, when you grow up, you will be asked to pick sides. You will be tempted to pick one and hate other. Please remember your father s advice then. If you are pushed, choose indifference, but never choose hate. Its a baggage, not worth carrying.





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