I will encourage you to always consider your point of view
Dear Dhaani, in our tradition, the elders have always been right. And the children are supposed to listen to them and follow what they tell. More specifically the parents have for long decided what is right and what is wrong for the kid. It's a wonderful way to ensure how a child treads the right path in life and does not fall astray. We tend to follow this protocol throughout our lives; at least until we get married.
Compare this with the western societies, especially American, where also the parents love their children equally and hold them to their decisions till a particular age. However, after the child reaches that age ( 15 +), the decisions of her life are mostly hers ( with the agreement of parents as a bonus)
Both the school of thoughts are wonderful and work well for their own set of societies, culture, and people. However, what we have experienced is its a mix which has worked best, for us ( your Mumma and pappa) and for many of our friends. We are of a generation in India which was heavily influenced by western culture and we picked everything we could from theirs. Thankfully, this created this cultural mix of following who is correct and not who is elder. This was facilitated also by the movement of the child from the house for studies after the age of 15 - at least from the small towns that we were born in.
I left home when I was 15, for my +2 studies in a different town. I thus had to take my own decisions on a daily basis from a young age. It helped that my parents had fostered this relationship of reasoning and debate with me. I remember from the very childhood ( i must have been 6or 7) debating with my mother on why can I not do a thing in another way. Most of the times her answers satisfied me and i followed her. But at a few times, she would just not have an answer and asked me to do it as it was a tradition. I did it anyway, but that question remained unanswered. On a very few occasions, she told me to do it my way. That was empowering.
Case in point being the multiple pooja and vrats that women in Indian household carry out. I could never bring myself to like the complexities and extravagance of these occasions. I was all for the celebrations, getting new clothes, family coming together. What i could never understand is the rigid and long process of pooja for every different occasion( which are too many). Since I have not got a satisfactory response to this as yet, I don't force myself to follow it. Dont get me wrong here, i always stand to be corrected and convinced.
Like the case above the power of taking my own decisions fuelled me throughout my life. I was very sure in most of the crossroads in life. At times I had to fight with my parents, my family for my point of view.Its important for me to have their buy in.I have not taken them for granted. But more than my family, I have never taken myself for granted.
And that is the only message I want to give to you - Never take yourself for granted. If you feel something is right, you have every right to consider and convey your point of view.- to people who care for you, your family, friends and loved ones; to your mumma and pappa.
Compare this with the western societies, especially American, where also the parents love their children equally and hold them to their decisions till a particular age. However, after the child reaches that age ( 15 +), the decisions of her life are mostly hers ( with the agreement of parents as a bonus)
Both the school of thoughts are wonderful and work well for their own set of societies, culture, and people. However, what we have experienced is its a mix which has worked best, for us ( your Mumma and pappa) and for many of our friends. We are of a generation in India which was heavily influenced by western culture and we picked everything we could from theirs. Thankfully, this created this cultural mix of following who is correct and not who is elder. This was facilitated also by the movement of the child from the house for studies after the age of 15 - at least from the small towns that we were born in.
I left home when I was 15, for my +2 studies in a different town. I thus had to take my own decisions on a daily basis from a young age. It helped that my parents had fostered this relationship of reasoning and debate with me. I remember from the very childhood ( i must have been 6or 7) debating with my mother on why can I not do a thing in another way. Most of the times her answers satisfied me and i followed her. But at a few times, she would just not have an answer and asked me to do it as it was a tradition. I did it anyway, but that question remained unanswered. On a very few occasions, she told me to do it my way. That was empowering.
Case in point being the multiple pooja and vrats that women in Indian household carry out. I could never bring myself to like the complexities and extravagance of these occasions. I was all for the celebrations, getting new clothes, family coming together. What i could never understand is the rigid and long process of pooja for every different occasion( which are too many). Since I have not got a satisfactory response to this as yet, I don't force myself to follow it. Dont get me wrong here, i always stand to be corrected and convinced.
Like the case above the power of taking my own decisions fuelled me throughout my life. I was very sure in most of the crossroads in life. At times I had to fight with my parents, my family for my point of view.Its important for me to have their buy in.I have not taken them for granted. But more than my family, I have never taken myself for granted.
And that is the only message I want to give to you - Never take yourself for granted. If you feel something is right, you have every right to consider and convey your point of view.- to people who care for you, your family, friends and loved ones; to your mumma and pappa.
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