Promises to my daughter

-
When Dhaani was 2 months old, she and Himani went to Ranchi, Dhaani s nanighar to spend the next 4 months there. And I was back to my bachelorhood for some time. I made use of  the free  time to read books, some of them on parenting. One of the books I read was Mallika Chopra s - 100 promises to my baby. It is a collection of 100 promises that Mallika made to her daughter while she was growing up. I connected with the book at a very emotional level. At the same time, it looked like an idea which I could personalize. I bought a notebook and named it -  Promises to Dhaani. I was all set to prepare my own version of the book, for my little princess.

I had vague ideas on what I wanted to promise Dhaani. As a father , I wanted to do everything to make her life blissful. And I was already doing so much, was there a need to make formal promises to her ? And do these promises need to be documented, if at all?  Well, life is a complex game. Things change so fast that we forget who we were earlier. That's where these promises help. I was not making these promises to Dhaani , but to myself. That whatever happens, I will not let myself down on these commitments.

One of the questions that everyone who is planning a baby thinks about - is  it our duty to bring forth the next generation? Well the logic which reasonated best with me is one given by a famous mystic - bringing a child to this world is the biggest responsibility. And it's totally your decision; the child has not requested you to bring her to the world. So if you take this call, you better own your decision. Do not blame the child later for the loss of freedom, time and what not. Do it only if you are capable and prepared. It's not a duty to be a parent, but it's a duty to be a GOOD parent , if you decide to be a parent.

Now, GOOD is a relative term. Following good as per others is a lost cause. So we follow an easier route. We try to be good as per what we think is good. And those basic principles form the root of my promises to my daughter. Will post these promises as a theme in some of the future posts on the pappablog .This  will also  be Dhaani s way to keep a  check on me.To let me know whenever i break a promise and tell me - Pappa , you promised this, I have it in writing:)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

To my first two teachers - my Parents

-
My mother and father were my first teachers. I am grateful to be born to such kind, simple and empowering souls. They brought us 5 kids with aplomb in the limited resources we had. They taught us simple but powerful lessons in life through their actions. Today on teachers day, I am reminded of their main mantras which I will try to pass on to Dhaani. 1. Never Cheat or use unfair means -  It sounds so obvious thing to do. Everyone would teach their children not to cheat and use unfair means. But what is important is to practice and not to preach. During my childhood, I saw my parents practicing it. It only helped that we saw some others practicing the opposite. My father was a simpleton who never used unfair means in life. That other people and his close relatives used unfair means to take benefit out of him, is another story. He never reciprocated. We as children at times questions this one-sided goodness. But today I know that whatever you do in life, good or bad, always co...
Read more

Divine Intervention

-
They say that you don't have any control over your life, destiny has its own way of planning things for you. We were to see the example of this saying for ourselves very soon. It was January of 2016. We had started to think about extending our family. Around the end of the month, we got to know of tragic news. Himani s nanaji was diagnosed with cancer.  Nanaji was a self-made man who brought up his 5 children as a single parent ( naniji had demised when children were very young). And he doted on his grandchildren, especially girls. He was a living example of how daughters are to be celebrated and encouraged and not considered a liability. He ensured that all his children and grandchildren get educated and brought up well. He always stood like a rock behind his children in the ups and downs of life. His daughters also reciprocated the love equally and I have always admired the father-daughter relationship he had with his daughters. Nanaji s initial diagnosis was done in Bena...
Read more

The two worlds

-
Dear Dhaani, You are 2 years and 7 months today. Come next year, and you will start attending school. And thus will begin a new chapter in your life. The thing that i am going to write to you today about will not make much sense to you  in your initial years at the school, but i think it is important for you to understand this as you grow up. You my dear, like every other child on this planet are blessed to be born with an inherent connection with your inner self. This connection is what makes a child so special and innocent. This is what we adults miss in ourselves and other adults when we see you children being so pious and pristine. I believe there is one prime reason for this. As we grow up, we start focussing only on our outer world and forget the world inside of us, our inner world. Today i want to talk to you about these two worlds.  The outer world as you have already started noticing is the world which the god has created, and we humankind, have modifie...
Read more